Monday, April 17, 2017

40 weeks

Well, here we are at 40 weeks pregnant.  I will say it is fun to have people ask, "When are you due?" and to be able to answer, "Monday" or "any day" and then see their expressions.

A recap of the past few weeks:
Week 36 - SPRING BREAK!  What a glorious week and by that I mean we worked our tails off but it was so nice to cross stuff off the list and get stuff done!  The weather was amazing so I tried to get out and walk each day.  I had a doctor's appointment and saw an actual doctor (usually I see a nurse practitioner).  We had a ten-second ultrasound to see if the baby's head was down - it is.  I was a little bit, like, "Hey!  Can we see something besides a circle that represents his head?"  "What about an arm or a leg or something!?!?".  I think I went to Target almost every day.  For what? You may ask...I don't remember but I found a reason to go and wander around.  I know one or two of the days it was for thank you notes.  I chopped about 10 inches of hair off and enjoyed getting my hair washed and head massaged.  
37 weeks 5 days
Week 37 - I can't remember anything interesting happening - school, school, and more school.  Ian finished up his oral antibiotics for impetigo and it finally looks like it is healing!  My first long term sub canceled on me.  So I started my search for another one.  The baby really likes to stick his butt out - several times a day my stomach will bulge on the right side near my belly button.  I have decided that it is his butt and I give him a few pats each time he sticks his derriere out.  

Week 38 - We were productive.  It finally seemed real enough that we are possibly having a baby so we installed the car seat bases, assembled the stroller, and put together a swing that some friends loaned us.  I washed a bunch of blankets, burp clothes, and one sleeper.  We went out to eat at some "nicer" restaurants that we had gift cards for (thank you Calc 3 students!).  We decided on a name (we think).  (And that was all basically in one afternoon).  My second long term sub canceled on me.  We had a doctor's appointment and my sugar was elevated (of course!) so they want me to come back in a week.

39 weeks 2 days
Week 39 - Long term sub #3 is the charm (finger crossed - she has not canceled yet).  It was a relaxed week at work in some ways.  There was a lot of state testing and so fewer classes to teach, but I did my best to crank out 6 weeks of sub plans and stay caught up.  I treated myself to a Starbucks and a pedicure.  My ankles and fingers just started to swell this week and they are not underachievers in the swelling department.  I am not ready for the baby to come yet, so I stopped exercising (which why I think the swelling came on so quickly).  The good news - it does not hurt at all.  

Waiting for my toes to dry and watching my belly physically move when the baby moves

I keep waiting to get to the stage of, "I am so big.  I can't sleep.  I am so uncomfortable.  Just come already, Baby!"  But it has not happened yet.  I feel pretty good and I once I fall asleep I am good for the rest of the night.  I had one poor night of sleep where I kept waking up with intense back pain and a horrible leg cramp.  I was concerned that I was maybe going into labor, but the next day everything was normal.  I mentioned to nurse practitioner that I hope to make it 41 weeks and 4 days and she told me that I was the first person she had ever heard that from.  We shall see.  {I would try to make it to 42 weeks, but the nurse practitioner has already said 41.5 weeks is the limit.}

At this point, I keep comparing my pregnancy to a marathon.  A marathon is 26.2 miles, which is 42.195 kilometers (and yes, they mark each and every km in Korea when you run a marathon). So I have told myself a week = a kilometer.  At this point, I am somewhere between 24.5-25 miles into my 26.2 miles analogy.  24.5 miles is not a fun spot to be and you are so close, yet so far.  At 24.5 miles, you just put your head down and get through it.  I would definitely take 40 weeks pregnant over hanging out at 24.8 miles of a marathon.  All of that to say, it gives me a good perspective and helps me stay patient.

Monday, March 20, 2017

36 weeks!

I went to finish off my 36-week pregnancy draft and realized that I have not recorded anything over the last few weeks - whoops!  I can not believe that I am 36 weeks pregnant and at the same time I feel like I have been pregnant forever!

32 weeks - I had my 32-week doctor's appointment while Ian had his first day at Sprouts.  I had an alarming (from what I could gather) amount of sugar in my urine so I got to do another three-hour glucose test.  I would say that Ian and I have our glucose testing routine down (dare I say we are experts?).  I did not feel as good this time around but my numbers were actually lower.

33 weeks - I bought my first pair of maternity leggings!  They are glorious.  I am pretty much wearing dresses to school at this point so it is great to have a pair of leggings to wear that fit!  

34 weeks - I don't have any specific memory of anything special happening this week.  I think we had interviews at school - I got asked every 20 minutes if I was okay - I just laugh.  I am either having an easy pregnancy or other pregnant woman play the pregnancy card way too often.  

Interview Committee Day
We also found out somewhere along the way that Ian did not have shingles but potentially impetigo.  So I have been doing laundry like crazy (I was doing tons of laundry when we thought it was shingles).  At this point whatever is on his arm has been there for at least 2 months and we probably went an entire month before we tried to treat it so I think whatever it is I am not going to get.  But we are trying to be responsible adults so the laundry parties continue.  

35 weeks - Pi Day happened.  I ate so much pie - it was ridiculous.  The very sweet Math Department also threw me a baby shower/ special lunch on Pi Day so it was extra special.  They got me "Introductory Calculus for Infants" and everyone signed the front cover.  Hands down my favorite baby book so far.  Hopefully my kid will have it memorized at an early age and then can read it to himself.  I also worked on finding a long term sub.  

The little man's first Pi Day (the shirt reads, "QT Pi" when not reflected in the mirror).

We are still in a state of the unknown as far as the next few months.  We don't have a plan for post-May.  And my type A planner self is trying to be okay with it - or at least patient.  We haven't taken any birth or infant classes.  We haven't installed a car seat (or even taken it out of the box for that matter).  We haven't picked a name or washed a single item of baby clothes.  We don't know what a job for Ian or health insurance looks like for us after June.  We could be living anywhere in a few months.  
Nevertheless, God has a little boy for us to love and raise for His Glory.  God is good and He is faithful.

36 weeks 1 day - waiting for my workout buddy

Monday, February 20, 2017

32 weeks pregnant

Is it possible that I am 32 weeks pregnant!?!?!  WHAT?  I remember when I first found out I was pregnant and downloaded a pregnancy app to my phone and scrolled through and saw that I would be 32 weeks in February... it seemed so far away then.  But alas, 32 weeks has arrived.

I feel like a lot has happened in the last few weeks, but not many photos.

28 weeks: We toured the hospital.  Panic and terror set in.  I told Ian on the way home, "Wouldn't it be great if there is a 50/50 chance that we are having a little boy or a goldfish?  And we got goldfish!  I wish we were having a goldfish!"  Had my 28 week check up and glucose test.  I failed my first glucose test so I got to do the three hour test.  Ian was a trooper and sat with me through all the tests.  Thankfully I passed every stage of the three hour test, so I am in the clear.  I think I may have failed the first one because I had a HUGE bowl of ice cream the night before (whoops).
Hospital tour day!  28 weeks
29 weeks: I was hit with the plague that has been going around school.  I went from "I think I am catching a cold" on Tuesday afternoon to "I am definitely getting a cold" on Wednesday morning to "I am so sick" Wednesday afternoon.  Whatever it was, it came on quick and I, of course, ended up throwing up at school and heading home early.  Have I mentioned that I am really ready to be done throwing up for quite a while?  I pretty much slept the rest of Wednesday, most of Thursday, most of Friday, and tried to recover on Saturday and Sunday.  I had some pretty discouraging moments while sick - trying to imagine caring for an infant and having NO energy (and anytime I got out of bed for more than 10 minutes feeling nausea.)  Hopefully the fourth trimester does not go that way...

30 weeks: I tried to get caught up on life after being sick and still rest.  I miss taking Nyquil so much!  My mother-in-law came in town towards the end of the week and was able to attend my baby shower.  It was such a sweet shower thrown by friends from school and attended by all the different friends I have in Denver.  Everyone at the shower decorated a onesie for a little guy - I can't wait to put him in them.  There are different sizes so he can wear onesies for almost an entire year - everyone was so creative with how they decorated.  People were so generous with their gifts!  It was definitely overwhelming to be loved on so much!

This got delivered to me during lunch on February 14th - Thank you 6th period Calc BC

31 weeks: I tried to start exercising again after recovering (mostly) from being sick.  We celebrated our last Valentine's Day sans kids with a Little Caesar's pizza and studying calculus (me) and Ian studying for his oral exams in March.  My poor husband!  He had a dry spot/rash on his arm for quite awhile and I was not sympathetic at all towards him (sorry Love!) It continuously got worse and worse until he decided to go to urgent care.  He has shingles!  Yikes!  So we got to do research (and freak ourselves out for an hour or two) about being exposed to shingles while pregnant.  I am going to check with my doctor when I see her this week - but at this point, I think we are okay. Ian's shingles are healing and he is feeling better.  I hope that this is not foreshadowing my parenting skills "Suck it up!  Brush it off!  You're fine kiddo!" and then find out he has a broken bone or something...

31 weeks 4 days - after a very long day at school
I guess I should include that I am still feeling good.  I have not had any Braxton-Hicks contractions.  I use the restroom about the same as before I was pregnant.  I only get achy and uncomfortable for a few hours before bed at night.  I am sleeping almost as well as before I was pregnant (before I was pregnant, I would lay down, fall asleep within 5 minutes and not wake up until my alarm went off - it was awesome).  I have not had too many vivid dreams [except for the one last week when I had the baby but he had shark teeth and breastfeeding was a hot mess and no one believed me that he had shark teeth (HE DID!)]  Every so often I have a rough night.  I am not swelling too much.  I get really painful cramps in my legs during the night every other week or so.  I get heartburn if I eat too much and then lay down right away.  But all symptoms are quite manageable.  I am hoping that I have another 4-6 weeks of feeling this way?  We shall see.

The other day we were driving somewhere and I was rambling something about how worried I am about something (nonbaby related) and Ian said, "Worry kills."  And it has stuck with me - along with the idea that worry is a choice.  Just like joy is a choice and love is a choice.  So I am trying to choose to not worry.  I try to think of this sweet song when I feel the worry creep in.  I don't know how often I think of Ian and me "getting to be the ones" that watch our little one grow up and help him create fun memories.

Monday, January 23, 2017

28 weeks

I think it took me a solid 6.5 months to believe that I am pregnant - I finally believe it and only forget a couple of times a day that I am.  I think part of the reason I finally believe it is my belly is big.  I met someone for the first time the other evening and she asked when I was due.  I told her April and she replied, "Oh fun!  I am due in May with my second." AND SHE WAS BARELY SHOWING.  I told Ian about it later and we both laughed.  The other reason that I finally believe that I am pregnant is that I can feel the baby move every so often.  Some days he moves a lot and some days I don't feel anything.  

24 weeks 4 days

If there is one thing that I have learned during this pregnancy it is how most Americans feel about exercise.  I have been doing a pretty steady combination of elliptical and lifting weights for a few months and I am so over it.  I will listen to music, watch TV, do anything to keep my mind off the fact that I am exercising.  I do not particularly look forward to the part of my day when I work out.  It takes zero effort to convince me not to work out.  And I rely on meeting other people to force me to work out most days.  I remind myself that it is not forever and I can get back to running in a few (five?) months once the weather is nice.  I will say that exercising helps me sleep so much better.  

26 weeks 4 days - post workout.  Good thing my husband lets me borrow shirts that fit!
I think I am on the brink of getting so big everything hurts and day-to-day tasks are more difficult.  The past 6-8 weeks have been great!  I understand why some women love being pregnant.  (I don't know if I will ever say that, but I understand the sentiment much more now than in weeks 0-16).  I know a lot of women have a hard time in the third trimester, I am hoping if I keep busy at school maybe it will pass quickly.  I definitely have been getting a lot of "When are you due?" questions recently.  I tell people mid April and you can tell they thought I was going to say in 3 weeks.  I just chuckle on the inside.

26 weeks 1 day - this dress is super comfy and I probably going to wear until it does not fit!
We are still in name gridlock: Samuel Henry vs. Benjamin Lewis.  The other night we tried to come up with a third possibility but we could not land on anything specific.

I have been returning to my, "Lord prepare our hearts for what you have for us."  I read this story the other day and it has stuck with me.  Some days I am so focused on school and my babies there I don't have too much time to worry and other days it feels like every 5 minutes I am worrying, "What if Ian does not find a job?" "What if I can't feel the baby move today because something is wrong with him - would I even know?"  "How in the world will I know what to do with a baby?"  "What if my maternity leave does not work out?"  "Will I have to come in for a few days at the end of the school year?"  "What do I do with a baby while I am at school?" "How much is it going to cost to have this baby?" "What if we name the baby something and then in a year we realize it was the wrong name?" "Was this a fluke?  Will we be able to have more children?" and it can keep going on and on.  Some of the worries feel small and some feel big. I am a big fan of preaching the gospel to myself so here is what the gospel sounds like these days:

  • Regardless of how big or small my worries feel, God is bigger.
  • Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you.
  • God is good.  He has a plan - for His Glory.
  • Ian once told me that the verse, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" can be thought of as, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the fruit of your obedience."  The phase, "fruit of your obedience" is something that I have been pondering.  I love John Piper - here is a short article from him on the verse.
The best way to silence the worry is to start with, "Lord prepare our hearts for what you have for us."  It seems to cut through all the voices and clutter (and some days exhaustion) in my thoughts and give me space to remind myself who my God is and what He has done.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

24 weeks!

Does 24 weeks pregnant mean I start telling people that I am SIX MONTHS (!?!?!?!) PREGNANT? The theme of disbelief and denial have continued. I think at this point, I believe that I am pregnant (when I remember that I am pregnant) but I can't believe that we are going to have an infant.  A tiny little baby that is totally dependent on us for everything.  The infant stage is pretty intimidating to me.  Toddlers are my jam - but infants - they can do nothing besides eat and poop.

21 Weeks 4 days - the Babes and I rocking an Ugly Sweater for Ugly Christmas Sweater Day at School
I like to make goals.  It helps me streamline my thinking and not dwell on unimportant things. I was telling Ian how I am trying to narrow down some goals for parenting our child(ren) that will take us all the way through his (their) lives. Ian suggested that we use part of the Boy Scout Oath and try to raise a child who is: physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight (I have since added socially normal - this may have happened when said child's father was acting weird while we were at Target).  Boom!  Goal written!

23 weeks 1 day - I was taken out for my birthday with some friends - I managed to put some make-up on
The baby is staring to become some fun sizes that I can almost picture a human being. Week 22 the baby was the size of a Nalgene water bottle. Week 23 the baby was the size of a Barbie (Ken I guess in our case) Doll.  Week 24 the baby is a size of a beer growler - how very Colorado of the baby.

Christmas Day at church - 23 weeks 6 days
At our most recent check up (24 weeks) we found out that I have an anterior placenta - which is why I have not really been feeling the baby move too much. I thought I was slightly crazy for wishing for stronger kicks.  But come to find out, there is essentially a "cushion" that the baby is kicking most of the time.  I also think my 27 pound weight gain has not helped anything either...#justsayin

My belly button is definitely transitioning from a "flattie" to an "outie".  Sometimes I complain to Ian that my belly button hurts - I can feel it stretching.  Ian reminds that "this is what a miracle feels like" - well folks, miracles don't feel great - they feel like stretching and pain.

Christmas Day
I have been slowly working on my registry.  Babies need so much stuff.  Goodness gracious!  I have trying to stick to one place for the most part, but my in-laws told me about the Baby Box and I was like, "Perfect!".  So our kid is going to sleep in a box for the first 5 months of his life.  Target Registry tells you every time you log in, "Ian and Alissa's Baby is expected in 111 days."  Every time I think "How is that possible?!?" 

24 weeks 2 days - strangers are starting to comment on my pregnancy and are shocked when I tell them that I am due in April - yes person-I-just-met-in-the-grocery-store, I can read your mind - I am going to be HUGE:)

We sporadically work on name ideas.  At this point Ian has a #1 name (Samuel Henry) and I have a #1 name (Benjamin Lewis) and they are not the same.  I don't think the flow of Samuel Henry is strong enough and Ian says my Benjamin is too popular (it is the top 10).  If I knew with 100% certainty that there are more boys in our future and that Benjamin would become less popular, I would not care so much.  Hopefully we still have 17-18 week to hash out a name for the little guy. 

The following paragraph is such a "mom" thing to say, but I am well on my way to be a mom so mom it up I will!  At our 24 week check-up the nurse practitioner was listening to the baby's heartbeat and told us that he had the hiccups.  And that he was not happy about it.  I am not sure how she knew that he was angry, but that is what she said.  She also said that he must be (and I quote), "...neurologically advanced to know that he has the hiccups and to be mad about them...".  My kid is neurologically advanced!  It was definitely one of my first proud momma moments.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

On turning 29

Today I turned 29 years old!   How crazy!  I seriously feel about exactly the same as I did when I was 23 (and when I was 23, I felt about 18 - ha!)  Last year, I did a good job of taking selfies throughout the day.  So far this year I have not taken any pictures, so I am going to steal one or two from last year:)

The main reason I am blogging today is that I feel like this is the "last"s of so many types of birthdays.  It could be my last birthday in Colorado.  It is my last birthday as a not-mom (before you are married, you are single...before you are a mom/parent, you are a_____?).  It is my last birthday of my 20s.  It is my last birthday (let's hope) as a Seminary Wife.  

We started our day at Snooze (after my amazing husband de-snowed and de-iced our car in the -1 degree weather).  We like Snooze for breakfast, but we don't make it there very often.  We went to Snooze last year for my birthday breakfast and then we did the same this year.  I had Gingerbread Pancakes topped with something awesome (I don't know what it was, but it was great!  Something in between butter and whipped cream.)  Ian had a jalapeno, mushroom, and sausage omelet.

It pretty much looked the same this year, except for more ice and snow.

After Snooze, we headed to find birthday present #1 - firewood.  When Ian asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year, the first thing that came to mind was, "a break from school" (which I am getting - I am enjoying the challenges I took on this year, but I have burnt myself out a bit, so I was ready for a break - praisetheLord!)  The next thing that came to mind was "a fire all day".  We so enjoy having a wood burning fireplace in our little apartment, but we don't burn a fire that often.  So Ian bought me two bundles of firewood and we have had a fire going all afternoon.  It smells a bit like a campfire in the apartment, but I don't care.  It is so cozy to hear the wood pop and crack as the fire burns.

my view from the couch - I am too lazy to try to get a good picture of our fire

We headed to church to see the Children's Program - we can't believe that in a few years we will have a kiddo up there and I will be the Mom in the front row trying to video it all on my phone to send to grandparents {mindblowing}.  The kids did a good job and it was fun to see all their different personalities and watch them sing.   After church we stopped at home for a snack and then headed out for birthday fun round #2.

We went to Target and stopped at the Starbucks there for my free birthday drink {venti decaf holiday spice flat white}.  We wandered Target and I looked at all the cute white girl things and all the cute baby things that I have registered for but not seen in person yet.  We hit up the maternity section and I found a top that fits (and looks festive, but I can wear after the holidays soon).  Ian said my requests for new windshield wipers and certain pencils were not real requests so he let me wander Target and bought me whatever we came across.  We ended up with a maternity top and a pregnancy wedge - it is a type of pillow that is supposed to help me sleep better (doubtful, but it was on sale fore 10 bucks so I will give it a try).

After Target, we stopped by Panera to get my free birthday treat.  I choose a cinnamon roll (that I later enjoyed with a cup of coffee.  Don't worry Mommas - it was decaf.  I follow all the dumb pregnancy rules the best I can.)  Once we got home, I camped out on the couch to read, blog, and do absolutely nothing.  It always takes me a couple more days than I anticipate to "recover" from school.  This past semester definitely kicked my butt.

We had a lowkey evening.  I watched a ridiculously cheesy Christmas movie (my favorite).  I ended the day in bed reading (also my favorite).  What a great day!  I loved seeing emails pop up on my phone all day telling me of friends near and far who were wishing me a happy birthday.  Here's to all the adventure that the next 365 days will bring!

Saturday, December 3, 2016

20 weeks

We are halfway through this pregnancy!  I can't believe it!  We found out this week that we are expecting a boy!  I can't believe it!  I finally understand why people say things like, "I can't believe my kid is 5!  I can't believe they are in kindergarten!"  Every stage of parenthood has been met with denial thus far.    

I was super convinced that we were having a girl, so Ian and I have only been discussing girl names.  Guess we will have to shelve those.  We both would have picked a boy, so we are pretty excited!  

I think it is finally starting to sink in that I am pregnant. I feel huge and people have started patting my stomach.  I pat their stomachs back (unless it is Ian).  Yup, I am glad that we are not having a little girl to take after her Momma's sassy ways.

18 weeks 3 days - good thing my phone remembers when I take pictures.  

It is definitely December in our household - lots of Christmas music and lots of looming deadlines for school for both of us (I still have 2 finals to write...yikes!).  The good news is it will all be over in 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, I have given up a bit on exercising.  I got out for a couple of walks this week.  I try to motivate myself to go, but it is getting colder here and it has snowed a couple of times.  I like running so much more - I actually feel like some stress is relieved and running generates way more body heat.  If I run these days my hips hurt quite a bit the next day so I stick to walking.

Pumpkin Pie 5k - we walked it together.  It was FREEZING and walking a 5k makes me feel lame.  Ian is a good encourager.  And he gave me half of his piece of pumpkin pie afterwards "for the baby".
However, I do dream of days when I can run again which has lead to an obsession of looking at strollers. I read a blog post the other day that said something along the lines of, "You will never find the perfect jogging stroller."  That was a bit defeating!  I would love a jogger that can accommodate an infant through a 75 lb kiddo and is not crazy expensive and is height adjustable and could maybe convert to a double jogger without being bulky.  I am super torn between getting a carseat/stroller combo or just not worrying about it and getting a good carseat and a completely different stroller.  Yes I have wasted time too much time on the internet researching options and I don't feel like I have found anything I like.  At least we have a few more months to figure it out.

December 1st!  20 weeks 3 days.  Ignore my hair - I was not really planning on showing this picture to people.
Speaking having a few more months, we have yet to pick a hospital (well we have picked one, but we should probably take a tour and see the place before we actually decide) or found out about any type of birthing class or anything really.  The only reason I stay on top of doctor visits is they do not let me leave until I schedule the next few appointments (smart people).  I also keep saying that I need to find some maternity workout clothes and maternity work clothes (I have been wearing clothes given to me by friends and family - all super generous) but then I remember how much I don't actually like shopping (I think I do until I am in the store) and so many stores have gone to "we only carry maternity clothes online" - ugh! I just want to try on a couple of different pairs of pants to see how they fit - that's all!

I slept awesome over Thanksgiving break and then I was back to hit or miss this past week.  I can usually fall asleep pretty easily, it is just a matter staying asleep between 1-5am.  I know it is only going to get worse so I am trying to be okay with it.  Whenever I feel tired I go to bed so I can a get a good 4-5 hours in - which means I go to bed at 7pm or 8pm (more common) some nights and then get up at 4am to finish whatever I did not get done the night before.  

Did I mention that I am excited that we are having a boy? I am so ready for some kicks or jabs.  I think I have gained too much weight to feel anything right now.  I do feel little things that are similar to an air bubble popping but who knows if that is the baby or not.  I am trying to keep things fairly simple on our baby registry, but I can't resist the baby boy clothes!  They are just so cute.  I have heard that we might get a lot of clothes and so we don't need to register for much, but I since I am not trying to not buy any, I am registering for as much as I want!  

I love one sentence prayers. I like longer prayers too, but there is something about a one sentence prayer that can almost instantly calm my heart.  One thing that I pray often is, "Lord, prepare our hearts for what you have for us."